Texts I should have sent but didn’t

I need to share my latest encounter on dating sites. I offer this narritive in a effort to make sense of the experience. He liked me, I liked his profile. That’s how it started. I found out he was a Social Worker. Some of my best friends are social workers. The match was beginning to make sense. We chatted briefly, from Sunday when we matched, until Tuesday of that week. He had commented that he was apprehensive about trying this site, he felt less so after connecting with me. He texted to invite me to lunch if I was in Philadelphia and gave me his office phone number. I responed by text , thanking him and letting him know that I was not sure when I would be in Philly again. He called me, I was surprised. How did he get my phone number. I realized it was a call from the platform. I felt uncomfortable, like a boundary had been ignored. I did not answer. I acknowledged that he called and asked when could I call him back.He responded , but did not let me know what was a good time to get back to him. He text to ask if I were free, he had just left the gym. He let me know that he was also free tomorrow at 10a and that I could call him at his office or on this platform. I responded Tuesday around 3pm to let him know that I am almost always at yoga on Tuesday mornings at 10a.I asked what the rest of his afternoon looked and what time did he leave his office. The response was that he “deactivted”, our conversation. Th following is the text I should have sent, but didn’t.

Dear Michael, why did you block me? Did I not respond quickly enough for your ego. Where is your social work training? I don’t know what stings more , that you hurt my feelings or that I allowed you to hurt my feelings. I considered calling your office. I reconsidered because I was not quite sure why I would call. To tell you you hurt my feelings, if I was right to think you might have a strong need to be in control ? Would calling you make me seem like a crazy person who was stalking you? I have not figured it out. I am not sure why I continue to flounder on these sites. It’s this kind of behavior that contributes to dating fatigue. I ask you on behalf of myself and other women searching for love to me kind in your future encounters. If you have a sudden change of heart or question the match, then just say so. Karma is a real thing.

Kindly, Stephanie

Thanks for reading.